What, in heaven’s name, is a marriageable material?

A few days back, I was having a conversation with one of my cousins. She was complaining about how her life hasn’t been all that exciting in the last few months and how her past has come back to haunt her. She was hating her job, and the people she was required to work with. And to make matters worse, she was forced into decking up for a guy (who had come to ponnu paarthufy her) who I was sure she would have booted out of the house. But surprise! She said she doesn’t mind marrying him. I asked her if she loved him. She answered in the negative. I asked her if she liked him at least. No was her reply. I asked her why she, in God’s name, would agree to marry a guy who she doesn’t love or like. And she said, ‘My parents approve of him and he’s a marriageable material!’ And burst out laughing. Knowing her, she would decline the alliance soon. But, I’m just wondering, has marriage become an act of convenience? Is it just an institution that lacks warmth and emotion?

Down those quaint little roads…

One of the many things that I love about my life is the little trips (spanning for a minimum of 20 days) that I take with my parents to places that are historically, religiously, culturally, spiritually and geographically important. I’ve been to Rishikesh and Haridwar, to Delhi forts and Mysore palaces. In this series, I shall try and recall, and list down some of the things I enjoyed doing, some that I did because I had to, and some that I did without knowing why I had to!

On July 3, 2011, my parents, my perimma, my mom’s friend and I reached the Meenambakkam airport by 8 am to catch our Delhi flight. After we finished checking in, my mom, her friend and my perimma, who strictly believe that a person should eat his breakfast like he’s the king, opened their pottlam of pongal and vadai. I hurriedly moved away from them, lest they decide to offer me a piece of the vadai as well, and embarrass me in front of the rest of the crowd (Pongal in domestic airport!) ! After seeing off my attai, cousin and paati, who, by the way, were flying to Mumbai to attend my cousin’s engagement, we rushed to our terminal to board.

I guess all modes of public transport – bus, train and flight – come together to conspire against me. Whenever I decide to use their services, they will either a)arrive late b) not come at all c) arrive, pick me up and halt in the middle of nowhere owing to a puncture or lack of petrol or 1000 other technical faults or d) arrive, pick me up and reach the destination 200 hours late. In this case, it was the option ‘a’ ! We had to wait for about 2 hours before our blessed Kingfisher took off to Delhi.

I was stunned when I entered the Delhi domestic airport. It was huge, aesthetically-decorated and had instructions plastered on all four corners, guiding the lost travellers. AKA me. It was only after 45 minutes that we collected our baggage and made our way to get inside a taxi that we had pre-booked. We went and dumped our luggage at the koviloor mutt, where we were allotted a very nice and comfy AC bedroom. While both the aunts rested, my parents and I took the Delhi metro to reach IGNOU campus, where one of my dad’s cousins stays with his family. The rest of the day, or rather what was left of it, was spent chatting with them.

July 4

I admit I’m a shopaholic. Or maybe, a window shopaholic. Which explains why I didn’t mind roaming around in the hot sun on an otherwise lazy Monday afternoon in Janpath and Karol Bagh. Apart from a couple of leggings (which I anyway can get at a cheaper rate in Pondy Bazar), I didn’t buy much. Oh, that’s if you don’t count the clips and hangars and ropes that the grown-up women got, saying they were planning to use them during the rest of our journey to dry clothes!

July 5

My mother and her friend, Geetha, are what we call, enthu pattani. Bringing the laptop and mailing snippets to my TOI editor is one thing. But catching a bus, a train and an auto to reach KVS regional office to clarify a teeny weeny doubt in some auditing is just taking sincerity to the next level. While amma and G did their job, literally, my dad, my perimma (P) and I nicely slept through the day. We then went to the New Delhi station to catch the Amritsar Shatabdi and reached the Golden City of Punjab at 11 pm. I was overwhelmed to see so many Sardarjis. I’ve secretly always wanted to meet some of them and flaunt my Punjabi that I learnt watching Akshay Kumar, Shah Rukh Khan and Ajay Devgn in films. So, when our Sardar driver came up to us (the hotel in which we were scheduled to say in had been kind enough to send us a transport), I refused to let my dad speak. Right from –  tuhada ki haal hai (the driver was a young chap!) to tanva yahe vaad ji (though I could have just said shukriya or dhanyavad or thanksss!), I was literally gloating in Punjabi. Like Rajinikanth, I was talking, walking, breathing and eating the language!

 To be continued...

Why this kalyana veri?

Agreed that I've been working for the last four years (almost). Agreed that I'm going to be 24. Agreed that I'm the only daughter to my parents. Agreed that they have this big kadamai to get me married to a nice, good-looking, kai neraya earning, well-mannered guy from a respectable, well-to-do family with no nacchu pidungals. But well, I don't want to tie the knot with this 'nice, good-looking, kai neraya earning, well-mannered guy from a respectable, well-to-do family with no nacchu pidungals' anytime soooooon!
I've been covering cinema for this very nice national newspaper, and almost everyone in my beat knows me. But, I want to become this supercool travel journalist, whose articles everyone will pick up and read and use as a guide when they want to travel. I also want to be this very super intelligent girl who goes on a 'i'm-going-to-uncover-the-secrets-behind-aandipatti's-lost-civilisation'! expedition.
So, what's the problem you ask. It's my marriage! I don't know if my husband, whoever it will be, will allow me to do all this. Not that I'll obey his orders lying down. But the point is, how can I freaking marry someone whom I don't know from Adam?!
And how can I expect him to give in to my whims and fancy?
So, all I did was ask my parents to let me be until I achieve my dreams (gloating now). So, they will have to just wait for about two more years, hopefully.
But no! amma appa will be amma appa. With whatever knowledge of computer and Internet they have (both are auditors and puli in kanakku. So, sparing calculator and excel sheet, I don't think they know much about computer potti!), they jump into the payyan paarthufying padalam.
With Tamilmatrimony, SSmatri and 200 other matrimony sites advertising their efficient search engines, my amma appa start their hunt.
Their criteria, apart from the abovementioned – no kousigam, 2-4 years elder than me, should belong to one of the 20 stars tat I'm compatible with , and look like one serial hero atleast. (PS in the middle of my post : While I flatly refused to let them put up my picture on the sites that they surf, I did allow them to write a smallish biography about my achievements online. I'm all heart, I know!)
Apart from the sites, my amma appa also started relying on their relatives, friends, pakkathu veetu maami, edhuthaathu mama, flower-selling aaya and newspaper podara paiyyan for information on eligible bachelors!
But hello, someone ask me if I have anyone particular in mind? And mom, you can’t ask this question (in a I-didn’t-bring-you-up-like-that-so-don’t-say-yes tone) while you are riding pillion with me on my 7-year-old scooty pep, while I sweat it out to balance you, your sotthu mootai (lunch bag), my sotthu moottai and my oversized LV imitation bag that I forced appa to pick up from roadside shop in T Nagar! Not especially when my ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ will barely be audible in that blood-curdling horn that kuppa vandi lets out.
Sigh. Sigh the sigh. Well, back to what I was trying to tell you all. Why are parents hell-bent on getting their daughters married to some X, Y or Z when they don’t want to? And why do they always try to convince them saying you should marry when the time is right or that your mama’s daughter’s son’s chitti’s mother’s aunt wants to see your kalyanam before they die? Will someone explain/enlighten me?

I cant lose anyone

Aham Brahmasmi… That’s how I see myself…

I thought I was happy. I thought my life was perfect. I thought I would have all the fun. I thought I would never lose anyone… until I lost all my belief. Yes… life stole away from me two lives..

I had joined my office in May and the very next day, my granddad fell ill. Not tat he was extremely fit. He was suffering from parkinson for 72 years! He communicated jaundice and right in front of my eyes… he went kaput. When I was barely five, he stealthily wrote my homework’s for me, picked me up from my school, told me… paal vandachu, coffee kudikalam… he was very possessive about me. He used to say.. “she’s my pethi. I won’t let anyone else touch her.” Tat was his standard dialogue. And I used to feel proud. He taught me slokams and narrated bed time stories. We had our own carom tournaments, with our own special rules. When amma appa got transferred to another city, taatha paati were my guardian. He signed my report cards, wrote leave letters when I didn’t feel like going to school and he even attended PTA meetings for me. Damn me.. I cant even figure a sentence when am talking about him and I call myself a journalist! He was very special. We had our own secrets. I told him how I used to have head bath every morning without telling amma appa or paati… tat was few days ago his death! And till date, it remains a secret…..

I couldn’t bring myself to face the reality. When his body was brought in an ice box, I kept staring at his legs and eyes.. praying silently tat he would signal to me tat he s still alive. But of course, that never happened.

And then, exactly after 6 months, I lost my attimber. To tell you the truth, I was scared of him. He had a thick moustache and I thought he was very strict. I used to hardly open my mouth when I was with him. But things changed this august. My mom literally had to pull me away from him… he was my sole companion. We kept going yak yak all the time. It was raining heavily then and I couldn’t go for this sight seeing thingy… He kept insisting that I must visit Bombay when it isn’t raining and tat he would take me out… and I went again this November… to take him to his abode. He left me stranded… and yes.. it didn’t rain this time in Bombay.

This is life!

After a long time, am telling you my life is perfect.. well sort of. I mean, am employed with the times group in chennai.. office is just 30 min drive(without traffic.. tat s d catch), my collgs r just great.. i mean.. how would ur boss(editor in my case) react if u walk into d meeting hall with pen in ur mouth, notepad under ur chin, mobile in one hand and coffee cup in d other? but m boss says... childishness in its extreme! he thinks he would have been sued for employing me.. coz i was just 19 some 3 months ago wen i joined. others feel d same! some say am a bundle of energy... others say am akid. but everyone agree tat am a jam baby!(i dont mind coz dravid is also a jammy) and tat am a chatterbox.. tat i agree with. i mean.. i cant keep my mouth shut.

hey halt... boss.. if u r reading this (like u said.. my blogs might be error free.. coz they r just my feeling.. no quotes and not YOU for a simple U... ) so.. please dont think my main stories will be like this... am jus writing for myself and not for d CT readers:).. happy reading!

ya.. abck to square one... , life isnt in deep pits anymore... and according to my frnds..and am better off than anyone else in our gang... and am not wondering if i should become a sanyasin..(u know i dont want to become one... well.. u-know-y:))..... and my life is colourful with an U.. guess wat.. i even started behaving like an adult... i dont cry for small things like not getting an ipod...:)
i even stopped gulping down packets of sugar...and i stil have my jap mala... i wear them secretly..(gosh.. it is not a secret anymore)... and i also have this secret fascination abt this.. ummm.. these 3 guys.. ok. make it 4... ya.. so am perfectly normal.. and am more like a girl who is 20-yr-old... with a perfect life...

and lets see... i still crave for coffee... and chocolate... and still coffee without sugar.. is still ahte morning rains... and afternoon sun...

and know wat.. i just realised tat ppl who look dignified are really dumb.. in the last 3 months.. i haven come across any single person who would like to have a conversation- my way! i mean... noone talks my kinda sense.. and.. ya. tat s it...

but trust me... am meeting all these nice ppl who have inspired me in some way or other.. bas.. i jus want to meet KK and SK..and i wil be happy....

goodness... why do i want sooooooooo many things in life? i think i forgot my aim- to attain moksha... ok. i wil.. but after 60 years..:)

meanwhile am waiting for tat special somone to come back.. i have lots of things planned... goodness... am loving my life.. its too perfect to be picture perfect...:)

Am Back... !!:(

hello all.. am back. trying to tell u al how i have fared in life.. basically am back to square one! i don know wat to do wit life.. or life doesn know wat to do wit me i guess.. cause its been pushing me from one ladder to another.. pillar to post(I SHALL KICK U IF U READ IT AS DOG) and still.. its a mystry. i think i would have fared well if i had remained in kailashnath and become a sanyasin.. i atleast wont be sitting here.. bothering abt my placement.

first NDTV calls me.. says come join Metronation. then calls me for a training session in Jan. My coll says.. i can give u permission only after 1pm... le.. y do i need their permission for tat?!?!. so the channel chucks me. then am al keen about joining BHU(after seeing aaja nachle:)).. then Times Now me i apply.. TOI me also i apply. and after al this.. am suddenly bored with everything. No studies.. no job... no housekeeping as wel.!

My dad threatens me tat i wil be kicked out afe=ter 29th if i don do anything useful.. my attai calls me to her place.. then..? life s simple rite? no.. TOI takes my application.. says i wil be called like.. within a week for interview. then i make huge plans... wil bcum their travel journalist.. go officially to my attai s place.. have fun.. come back and submit 5-6 reports! but now... am back again. totally bored.

Am writing my final sem exams and i have a feeling am not doing wat i want to. So what am i to do? take up whatever job comes or try to find out what i want to do with the rest of my life? (according to my horoscope, its some 60 years more!!!!!!) ya... i also don want to do travel management in BHU...

basically am not doing anything worthwhile except the fact tat am blogging now... trying to clarify my thoughts while am typing it.. and gosh... no use. its al d same way it was before.. so.. pleaseeeeeeee help!!!!!

Moksha- No Revival

Could You Solve Crimes?

My Result: Have what it takes because you Have a Sharp Mind

There's no doubt about it: A quick-thinking person like you leaves no stone unturned and wastes no time solving any mystery that comes your way. Whether you're finding the fastest route to work, spotting online scams, or thinking up the perfect plan to escape a bad date, when it comes to using your noggin, you're definitely in first place.

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